Subtitles by DJ Hupp BardSubs.com
Quickly! Quickly!
Take in the topsail! Listen to the master's orders.
Hurry! Hurry!
Good boatswain, be careful! Where's the master? Command the men!
Please, stay below deck!
Where's the master, boatswain?
Can't you hear him giving orders? You are getting in the way!
Stay in your cabins! You're helping the storm!
Chill out dude!
I'll be chill when the sea is!
Just remember who you have on board.
No one that I care about more than myself.
Shut up! Stop bothering us. Get the fuck out of our way!
You again!? What are you doing here?
Should we give up and drown? Do you want to sink?
Go to Hell! you whimpering, disrespectful, selfish dog!
Get to work, then!
Hang yourself, you pice of shit!, smart-ass loudmouth!
We are less afraid of drowning than you are!
Push us back out to sea!
Push away!
Goodbye, my wife!
Pray! Pray!
We are going to die!
God, please!
We are fucked!
If you used your magic, dearest mother, to create this storm,
stop it.
Oh, I felt the suffering of the people I saw on that ship.
A fine ship, which certainly had some good people on board,
Smashed to pieces.
Those poor people died.
Chill out.
Don't be hysterical.
Tell your snowflake heart, no one died.
- Oh, what a horrible day. - No one died.
Everything I've done has been for you.
For you, my dear daughter, you don't know what you are.
or who I was or that I am more than just Prospera,
owner of a shitty shack, and an equally shitty mother.
It never occurred to me that there was more to know.
It's time you should know.
Lay there, my magic.
Wipe your eyes, don't worry.
That awful shipwreck,
that disturbed you so much,
I controlled it so carefully with my magic, that no one...
No, not so much as a hair on anyone's head was harmed
on that ship, which your heard cry and saw sink.
Sit down, and listen.
Can you remember before we lived in this shack?
I doubt it, because you weren't even three years old.
Of course I can, mom.
What do you remember?
A house or a person?
Tell me what you remember.
My memory is hazy, like a dream.
Didn't I have four or five women taking care of me?
You did, and even more, Miranda.
Twelve years ago, Miranda,
twelve years ago,
Your mother was the duke of Milan a powerful position.
But aren't you my mother?
That was me.
Who, long ago, was the wife of the man who ruled Milan without opposition.
He was totally chill toward me,
and let me spend many hours doing my research,
of magical powers in some elements to be harmful or medicinal.
I didn't allow any interruption except your crying,
Because you, child, were born a princess
Holy shit!
What the fuck happened that we had to leave?
When my father died,
Power was transferred, as he wanted, to only me,
so then my brother, your uncle, got some ideas in his head.
named Antonio.
- You're not listening! - I am.
Please, pay attention!... I can't believe a brother could be so disloyal!
I ordered him, with clear directions
how to sensibly govern Milan
instead, he fucked it all up... Are you listening?
I'm hanging on every word.
He misconstrued my legitimate work,
and made up a bunch of bullshit about me.
His sister practices black magic
A demon, not a woman, no, a witch!
And he, knowing full well that other women have burned at the stake for less.
The shit hit the fan, my supporters turned against me. Are you listening?
even if I was deaf.
To believe his own lie, Antonio started to believe he was actually the duke.
He allied with the King of Naples, promising him an annual payment
and to fuck over my dukedom, an independent state.
Holy shit!
This is the agreement they made.
The King of Naples, my arch-enemy,
agreed to my brother's proposal,
which was that he should get rid of me and my family.
and give Milan and all its titles to my brother.
Then, one night...
Antonio opened the gates of Milan.
and In the black of night, his officers
quickly carried us away, as you cried.
Why didn't they just kill us?
Dear, they didn't dare. The people of Milan loved me too much.
They hurried us aboard a ship, carried us miles out to sea,
where they'd prepared a piece of shit boat,
with no ropes, sails, or masts.
Even the rats had abandoned it.
And there they left us... to the mercy of the sea that roared at us,
to cry into the wind, that cried back, in pity
but didn't help us.
God, I must have been a burden on you.
Oh, little angel, it was you that kept me going.
You smiled, with a strength from heaven
that sustained my spirits against whatever we encountered.
How did we reach land?
By good luck.
We had some food and fresh water
that a nobleman from Naples, Gonzalo,
generously gave to us.
also, clothes, linens and other necessities,
which have since helped a lot.
He knew how much I loved my books,
He brought me a bunch of them.
that I value more than my dukedom.
I wish I could meet this man.
Please, mom, its still nagging at me,
why did you conjure this sea storm?
That was the craziest thing
Just good luck, my dear lady,
my enemies just happened to crash on this island.
Now, no more questions.
You're feeling sleepy.
It's a nice feeling, so give in to it.
I know you don't have a choice.
Come here, Ariel, come here.
I am ready for you now.
Come to me, Ariel, come!
Greetings, great master! Noble woman, greetings!
Your wish is my command,
whether its to fly, swim, jump into fire,
to ride on the clouds,
whatever you ask, I'll do it...
to the best of my ability.
Ariel, did you create the storm just as I ordered?
Down to the last detail.
I boarded the king's ship.
First on the prow, then in the midship, on the deck,
and in every cabin, I burned fiercely!
Sometimes I'd split up and burn in many places.
The flames and cracking of roaring fire was so intense, that even Neptune
was shitting his pants,
yes, his dreaded trident shook!
Lay her off!
Fuck yeah, Ariel!
Who is such a bad-ass this shit wouldn't fuck with their head?
No one. Everyone went nuts and did crazy shit.
The king's son, Ferdinand, with his hair standing up,
was the first man to jump, and shouted
"Hell is empty and all the devils are here!"
That's my Ariel! But wasn't this near shore?
- Close to shore, my master. - But are they safe, Ariel?
Not a single one died.
Their clothes unstained, and even cleaner than before.
And, as you asked, they are in groups spread around the island.
The king's son, all alone,
I left him crying into the wind.
in a remote corner of the island, he's sitting with his arms crossed.
The ship and the other sailors,
tell me what you did with them.
The king's ship is safe in the harbor.
hidden in that deep cove.
The sailors are all below deck, under my sleeping spell.
Ariel, you fucking nailed it!
but there's more work to do. What time is it?
Past noon.
Oh, at least 2PM.
We have a lot of shit to do before 6PM.
Is there more work to do?
Since you are giving me more work, let me remind you what you promised me,
which you haven't given me yet.
What's up? Your panties in bunch?
What do you want?
My freedom!
Before your time is up!? Fuck off!
Please, remember I have served you well.
You promised to take a year off my sentence.
Have you forgotten the torture I freed you from?
- No. - You do.
- I do not, ma'am. - You lie, you piece of shit.
Have you forgotten about the evil witch Sycorax?
Have you forgotten her?
- No, ma'am. - You have.
Where was she born? Come on, tell me.
Ma'am, in Algiers.
Oh really?
Once a month I have to remind you, because you forget.
That damn witch Sycorax,
All the shit she pulled, too fucked up to speak of,
You know she was banished from Algiers. Isn't that true?
Yes, ma'am.
That hag was pregnant when she was left here by the sailors.
You, my slave, as you call yourself, was her servant,
but were too kind-hearted to obey her vile orders,
so she imprisoned you in a tree,
and you stayed there, trapped in pain for 12 years
then she died and left you there.
You were totally fucked when I found you.
Your groans made wolves howl
and even affected angry bears.
It was my magic, when I came and heard you,
that opened the tree and let you out.
Thank you, master.
If complain anymore,
I will split open an oak tree
and trap you inside to cry for 12 years.
Forgive me, ma'am.
I will do as you command
I won't complain.
If you do....
In two days, I will free you.
You're so kind.
What do you want me to do?
Tell me. What do you want me to do?
Go. Disguise yourself as a sea spirit.
Be invisible to everyone except yourself and me.
Go, quickly!
Wake up, my dear, wake up.
You've slept well. Wake up.
Your shocking story made me sleepy.
Shake it off. Come on.
We'll go visit Caliban, my slave, A real piece of shit.
He's evil mom, I don't like to look at him.
But still, we can't do without him.
He builds our fires,
Brings in our wood and does things that benefit us.
Hey! Slave!
Caliban!
You piece of shit! say something!
You have enough firewood!
Come out, I order you!
I am eating dinner.
There's other work for you!
Come on, slowpoke. Now!
Oh, you piece of shit, conceived when the devil fucked your mother.
Come here!
As evil a curse as my mother ever conjured
with a crow's feather from poisonous swamps
infect both of you!
and a cold wind blow on you and blister you all over!
For that, you can bet, you will be in pain tonight.
sharp pains that will make it difficult to breathe.
Evil creatures will fuck you up.
You will be stung all over,
every sing more painful than a bee sting.
This island is mine,
From Sycorax my mother, but you've taken it from me.
When you first came here,
you made me feel important,
You gave me water with berries in it,
and taught me that the big light is called the sun,
and that other thing is called the moon.
I loved you then.
I showed you all the secrets of the island,
the fresh water springs, the saltwater pits,
barren and fertile areas.
Fuck me for doing that!
May all the curses of Sycorax,
toads, beetles, bats, plague you!
I am the only subject in your kingdom,
and you were my first king!
And you pen me up in this cave,
and keep me from going anywhere else on the island.
Liar, you could use a whipping more than kindness!
I have treated you well,
let you stay in my own hut,
until you tried to rape my daughter.
Oh, shit!
I wish I had.
You stopped me, otherwise I would have populated this isle with Calibans.
Motherfucker!
You have no goodness you.
I pitied you,
worked hard to teach you to speak!
You taught me to speak, so now I know how to curse!
Damn you for teaching me your language!
You son of a bitch, fuck off!
Get us some wood Are rolling your eyes at me?
If you disobey me or are a pain in the ass,
I'll inflict such pain on you, that you will scream so loud,
wild animals will be frightened by the sound.
No, I beg you!
I must obey.
Her magic is very powerful!
Go on, slave, go!
Come onto these yellow sands
And then join hands
When you've curtsied and kissed
the stormy sea calms
Dance lightly all about
And, sweet fairies, bear the burden
Listen, listen!
The watch-dogs bark!
Listen, listen!
The watch-dogs bark!
Where is that music coming from?
From the air or the ground?
It stopped. It's gotta be for some god of the island.
I followed it here.
Or it drew me here.
But it's gone.
No, there it is again.
Five fathoms below, your father lies
His bones have turned to coral
His eyes have turned to pearls
There's nothing left of him
The sea has transformed him
Into something new
And strange
This song is about my drowned father.
This couldn't be sung by mere mortals.
I hear it above me now.
Open your eyes and tell me what you see out there.
What is it? A ghost?
No, girl.
It eats and sleeps and has the same senses we do.
This man you see was in the shipwreck.
I think he is hotter than any man I've seen on Earth.
It's all happening according to plan.
Oh, Ariel, good spirit, I'll set you free in two days for this.
She is surely the goddess this music plays for.
Please tell me, do you live on this island,
and tell me how I can fit in here.
My main question, which I saved for last, is,
Oh you beauty! Are you real or not?
Not beautiful, sir, but certainly real.
She speaks my language! Holy shit!
I am the highest ranking person to speak this language,
If only we were where it is spoken.
What? Highest ranking?
What would happen to you, if the King of Naples heard you?
He would see me for what I am,
shocked to hear you mention Naples.
He does hear me, and that he does I weep.
I am now the king of Naples,
I saw with my own eyes, which haven't been dry since,
my father was killed in the shipwreck.
oh, fuck!
Yes, it's true, and all his men.
They've fallen in love at first sight.
Oh, dear Ariel, I will set you free for this.
Could I have a word with you, sir.
I'm afraid you are mistaken... let me speak with you!
Why is my mother being a bitch?
This is the second man I've ever seen, and the first one I was into.
They are in love with each other.
I need to do some cockblocking,
or they won't appreciate the value of love.
I have something to tell you!
Fucking listen to me!
You've taken a title that doesn't belong to you
and came to this island as a spy,
to take it from me, the queen bitch here.
No, I swear.
No evil could exist in such a hot dude.
Follow me. Don't defend him, he's a traitor.
Come on, I'll chain your neck and feet together
and make you drink seawater. Follow me.
You can fuck off. I'm stronger than you.
Oh dear mother, don't be to harsh on him,
he's good and brave.
You know better than me?
Put away your sword, traitor
I can disarm you with this stick and make you drop your weapon.
- I beg you, mother. - Don't tug at my clothes.
Mom, have pity. I'll vouch for him.
Shut up! Say another word and I'll scold you, or worse.
You think there is no other man as attractive as him,
after seeing only him and Caliban.
Don't be stupid.
Compared to most men, he is Caliban and those men are angels.
Then my love is very humble.
I have no desire to see a more handsome man.
Come on. Do as I say.
Your muscles are limp like a baby, and have no strength in them.
That's true, they are.
My energy, like in a dream, is gone.
My father's death, the physical weakness I feel,
the loss of all my friends, nor this woman's threats, who has taken me prisoner.
wouldn't mean shit to me
If through my prison widow, I could see this sweet girl, once a day
I wouldn't need the freedom to go anywhere else in the world ,
I'd have everything I want right there.
It's working.
Come on!
You've done well, Ariel!
Listen to what else you will do for me.
Don't worry.
My mother is more kind than her words make her seem.
You will be as free as a bird,
if you do exactly as I say.
To the letter.
Come, follow me. Don't defend him.
Come on, sir. Cheer up.
You have a good reason, as do we all, to be happy.
because our escape outweighs our losses.
It's a miracle that we are still alive
it only happens to a few out of a million
So it would be wise to look on the bright side.
Please shut up.
He ingests comforting words like cold oatmeal.
Look, you can see his gears turning like a clock. It's about to strike...
- Sir... - The clock strikes one! Nailed it!
If we dwell on all the shit we've been through,
we are going to get...
A dollar.
Dolor (pain) does come, surely. Your words were truer than you intended.
You took it more seriously than I meant it.
So, my lord...
Fuck, this dude will not shut up!
Please, shut up.
Ok, I'm finished.
But one more thing...
He is still talking!
Though this island seems to be desolate...
Uninhabitable and almost inaccessible...
- But... - But...
He had to say it.
The air is fresh.
-Like air from rotten lungs. - Or air from a swamp.
Here is everything needed to survive.
Except anything to help us live.
There is none of that, or little.
How lush and healthy the grass looks. So green!
The ground actually brown.
With flecks of green in it.
But the extraordinary thing is...
Which is almost beyond belief.
That our clothes, being drenched in the sea,
are now as fresh as when we put them on in Africa.
In Tunisia.
At the marriage of your daughter Claribel to the King of Tunisia.
You keep jabbering away at me, more than I can stand.
I wish I'd never marry my daughter to him.
Because now I've lost my son.
and she may as well be lost too, she's so far from Italy,
I'll never see her again.
Oh, my dear son, heir of Naples and Milan,
what horrible sea creature has eaten you?
Sir, he might be alive.
I saw him swimming strongly and riding the waves.
I'm sure he reached shore alive.
No, no, he's dead.
Sir, you should blame yourself for this great loss,
You wouldn't marry your daughter to a European, instead, married her to an African.
Please, shut up.
Your son is dead. It's all your fault.
I'm also the one most fucked up about it.
My lord Sebastian, your truthful words are without tact.
You put your finger in the wound when you should be bandaging it.
Ok, fine.
Like a good doctor.
We all feel like shit, good sir, when you are in a bad mood.
Like shit?
Very shitty.
Prospera. Prospera.
I hope all the diseases that breed in swamps and marshes,
infect Prospera until she is a walking disease!
Her spirits can hear me,
But I'll curse her anyway.
She sends them after me for most bullshit things.
Sometimes in the form of apes that scowl...
and chatter at me and then bite me.
Then like hedgehogs, tumbling under the path of my bare feet
and stab their spikes into my feet.
Sometimes am I wrapped up by snakes
hissing with their forked tongues until it drives me crazy!
Look! Here comes one of her spirits,
to punish me for for taking too long to get wood.
I'll lay down maybe he won't see me.
There are no bushes or shrubs to protect from the rain.
and there's another storm coming.
I can feel it in the air.
That black cloud over there, the huge one,
looks like a dirty leather flask about to spill some whiskey.
If it storms like it did earlier,
I don't know where I'll take cover.
That cloud over there is going to drop buckets of rain.
What the fuck is this?
A man or a fish?
Is it dead or alive?
A fish. He smells like a fish.
A very old fish-like smell.
A strange fish.
If I was in England now, as I once was,
and had a painting of this fish,
Any idiot there would pay me just to look at it.
In England, this monster could make a man rich.
Strange beasts are profitable there.
They won't give a penny to help a disabled beggar,
but they'll pay ten cents to see a freak show.
He has legs like a man...
and his fins...
are like arms!
He's warm! God damn!
Okay, I was wrong...
This is not a fish,
It's just an islander that was recently struck by a thunderbolt.
Aw fuck, another storm!
The best thing to do is hide under his cloak.
There's no other shelter around.
When the shit hits the fan, you'll befriend some weirdos.
Don't punish me!
The captain, the deck-swabber
The bosun and I
The soldier and his friend
We all loved Molly, Meg, Marian and Margery
But none of us liked Kate
Because she had a mouth on her.
She told sailors to "Fuck off!"
She hated the smell of a ship
But...
But she would fuck a tailor if she was in the mood.
So go to sea, boys, and let her fuck off
Go to sea, boys, and let her...
That's a fucked up song.
Well, this is the good shit.
What's going on?
Are there devils here?
Are you trying to trick me, with savages and Indians? Huh?
I didn't survive a shipwreck to be scared of your four legs.
The spirit is torturing me, oh!
This is some monster of the island with four legs
who has, it seems, a fever.
How the fuck did he learn our language?
I will give him something for the pain, since he speaks English.
If I can cure him, keep him chill, and get to Naples with him,
he'd make a perfect gift for any emperor.
Oh, do not punish me, please. I'll bring the wood home faster!
He's having a fit now and speaking nonsense.
I'll give him a taste from my bottle. This will fix you up.
Open your mouth.
This will cure you, I'm sure of it
You don't know what's good for you. Open your mouth again.
I recognize that voice! It sounds like...
But he drowned, and these are devils. God protect me!
Four legs and two voices. A very strange creature.
Come.
That's good! Now I'll pour some in your other mouth.
Stephano?
Is your other mouth calling my name?
Holy shit! This is a devil, not a monster!
- I'm outta here! - Stephano?
If you are Stephano, touch me and speak to me.
Don't be afraid, I am Trinculo.
Your good friend Trinculo!
If you are Trinculo, come out from under there.
I'll pull you by these smaller legs.
If any of these are Trinculo's legs, these are them.
You are Trinculo!
How did you end up as this creature's shit?
Does he shit Trinculos?
I thought he was killed by a thunder bolt.
But didn't you drown, Stephano?
I hid under this dead creature's cloak, to protect me from the storm.
You are really alive, Stephano? That's two from Napes that survived!
Please, don't spin me around. My stomach is upset.
They are handsome dudes, if they are not spirits.
That one is a noble god and brings heavenly liquor.
I'll bow to him.
How did you survive? How did you end up here?
Swear on this bottle how you got here.
I survived by hanging onto a barrel of wine, thrown overboard.
I'll swear on that bottle to be your loyal subject,
because that is heavenly wine.
Come on, swear by this bottle how you survived.
I swam ashore, dude, like a duck. I can swim like a duck, I swear.
Here, have a drink.
You might swim like a duck but you look more like a goose.
Oh Stephano, do you have any more of this?
The whole barrel, dude.
What's up, weirdo?
How is your fever?
Have you come from heaven?
We come from the moon, I promise you.
I was the man in the moon, once upon a time.
I have seen you in the moon, and I worship you!
Come on, swear to it.
Take a drink. Swear.
Now that I see him,
this is not much of a monster. Why was I afraid of him?
A very pathetic monster.
The man in the moon! What a stupid, gullible monster!
I'll show you every good part of this island.
And I will kiss your feet.
Please, be my god.
Come on, then.
Kneel down and swear it.
I will laugh myself to death at this silly monster.
A very pitiful monster! I want to beat the shit out of him!
But this poor monster is drunk,
Come on, have a drink.
I'll show you where to get fresh water.
I'll pick berries for you.
I'll fish for you and get you all the wood you need.
Fuck that bitch, I serve!
I won't gather any more wood for her. Instead, I will serve you, righteous dude.
What a stupid monster, to make an idol out of a drunkard!
Please, let me show you where to catch fresh crabs
And I will use my long nails to dig peanuts for you,
I'll show you a bird's nest,
and teach you how to catch a monkey.
I'll take you to clusters of hazelnuts,
and sometimes I'll catch birds for you on the rocks.
Will you come with me?
Please, lead the way Shut the fuck up, Trinculo.
The king and our companions have drowned, we'll take over this place.
Fuck off, bitch! Fuck off!
Fuck off!
A boisterous monster! A drunken monster!
No more building dams to catch you fish
or fetching wood when you want it
Or scraping platters, or washing dishes.
'Ban, 'Ban, Ca-Ca-Ca-Ca-Ca-Caliban
Has a new master!
Get yourself a new servant!
Freedom, fuck yeah!
Fuck yeah, freedom
Freedom, fucking, freedom!
Oh tenacious monster! Lead the way!
This job given to me is as difficult as it is unpleasant,
but the woman I'm doing it for, turns this awful task
into something pleasurable.
She is ten times as kind than her mother is cruel,
and she's a fucking bitch.
I have to move thousands of these logs
and stack them up, as she ordered.
My sweet lady cries when she sees me work,
and says such menial tasks were never done by someone like me.
These pleasant thoughts make my work easier.
Especially when I'm working hard.
Oh please, I beg you, don't work so hard.
I wish the lightning had burned up these logs you were ordered to stack.
Please, set them down and rest.
When this wood burns, It will cry for tiring you.
My mother busy studying.
So please rest. She won't be back for three hours.
Oh my dear lady,
the sun will set before I can finish my orders.
If you'll sit down, I'll carry your logs for now.
Please, give them to me. I'll carry it to the pile.
No, dear lady. I'd rather strain my muscles and break my back
than let you do such menial work while I sit by lazily.
I can do this work too, and it will be easier for me,
Because I want to do it and you don't.
You look tired.
No, noble lady.
I feel as fresh as a morning after you spent the night.
Please tell me, what's your name?
Miranda.
Oh mother, I've disobeyed you by telling him that!
Miranda means "admired".
and you deserve admiration more than anything in the world.
Poor bastard, he is in love.
These lovesick words prove it.
I've looked at many hot ladies.
Many times their flirtatious words enticed me.
They had many good qualities but none of them were perfect
The dealbreakers made their qualities worthless.
But you...
Oh you, so perfect and beyond compare.
have all the best qualities of a woman.
I only know one other woman, and have never seen a young woman
except for me in the mirror.
I also have not seen any men like you, my friend.
What people look like elsewhere, I don't know. But I swear by my virginity
I only want to be with you.
And I can't imagine anyone but you that I would be into.
Now I'm just babbling.
My mother always told me not to.
I am a prince, Miranda.
quite possibly a king.
But I hope not.
I'm going to get real with you...
The moment I saw you, I lost my heart to you.
And its still yours, so I am your slave.
So for you, I carry these logs.
Do you love me?
Oh Heaven, oh Earth, witness what I'm about to say.
More than anything else in the world I love, cherish, and honor you.
It's so silly of me...
to cry when I should be happy.
Why are you crying?
I am unworthy to give you
what I want to give you, and take what I am dying to have.
But the more I try to hide my feelings, the more they show.
So, fuck being shy about it. I'm going to be real with you
I'll be your wife, if you'll marry me.
If not, I'll die a virgin.
If you say no, I'll serve you anyway
My dearest darling, I am yours forever.
So you'll marry me?
Yes, I want it as much as a slave wants freedom.
Here's my hand.
And here's mine, with my heart in it.
Goodbye for now.
I'll be back 30 minutes
A million goodbyes!
If I colonized this island and was king, you know what I'd do?
Stop being drunk, because there is no wine.
No work. Men would do nothing.
And women too, but be innocent and pure. No kingship.
But you'd be the king.
That last part contradicts his premise.
Nature, not labor,
will produce, in abundance, to feed my simple people.
And marriage is not a thing?
No, dude. They do nothing. a bunch of whores and slackers
My leadership would exceed even the Golden Age.
God save the king!
Long live Gonzalo!
Are you listening, sir?
Please, shut up. You're talking bullshit.
I know, your majesty,
I did it to entertain these gentlemen,
who are quick to laugh at my bullshit.
It was you we laughed at.
Oh you're so funny, If I'm bullshit to you, keep laughing at bullshit,
Are you talking shit?!
No, its all good, dude don't be butt hurt
No, I promise you
I wouldn't risk my reputation for such petty shit.
Will you laugh me to sleep? I am very tired.
Go to sleep, and hear us laughing.
What? Asleep so quickly?
I wish I could sleep too. It would stop me from thinking
Oh, shit, I'm feeling sleepy too.
Don't resist the opportunity to sleep.
Its unusual for grieving people to feel sleepy but when they do, it's comforting.
We will protect you, while you sleep.
and make sure you're safe.
Thank you. I'm so tired.
That's weird they all got so tired.
It must be something in the air.
Then why aren't we sleepy?
I don't feel sleepy.
Me neither. I'm wide awake.
It's like they planned to fall asleep...
they fell as if being hit by lightning.
What might happen, Sebastian?
Oh, what might happen if...?
I'll shut up now.
But I can see it in your face what you should be...
This is your chance
I'm imagining a crown on your head.
What? Are you dreaming?
Didn't your hear what I said?
I did. It sounded kooky like you were talking in your sleep.
What did you say?
This is fucking weird to sleep with your eyes wide open.
Standing, speaking, moving, but in a deep sleep.
You are letting this opportunity sleep.
No, die.
Even while you are wide awake.
You snore a clear message...
I hear you.
I'm not fucking around, like usual.
Take my advice, and you'll be three times as powerful.
...I'm all ears.
I'll show you how to take action.
Please do. I was born lazy.
Check this out...
Though this dude almost persuaded the king that his son's alive,
It's just as impossible as saying these sleeping men are swimming.
I am certain he drown.
Oh, out of that "certainty" there is more certainty for you!
Certainty is the path to your greatest glory.
that no matter how ambitious, you couldn't imagine it.
Will you agree with me that Ferdinand is drowned?
He's dead.
Then, tell me, who's the heir to the throne of Naples?
- Claribel. - The queen of Tunis?
Claribel, that lives so far away, there is no cell service?
Claribel that was responsible for our shipwreck,
but some of us survived,
so now it is our destiny, to fuck some shit up.
It's up to us.
What the fuck are you talking about?
What if these sleeping men were dead.
They'd be no better off than they are now.
A shit ton of men can rule Naples as well as this sleeping dude.
Oh, I wish we were on the same page!
They are sleeping, this is your opportunity.
- Do you get it? - I think so.
And how do you feel about the possibility of good fortune?
I remember you overthrew your sister Prospera.
Yes. And you can see how I benefited.
Her servants were my equals, now they work for me.
- But, don't you feel guilty? - Why should I?
Twenty times the guilt could stand between me and the dukedom,
I't wouldn't bother me.
Here lies your brother, no better than the dirt he lays on.
If he was as he appears, I mean dead..
Which I, with my sword, can make him dead.
while you, doing the same to this old dude,
will ensure he won't fuck our shit up.
Your example, dear friend, is my inspiration.
Just as you got Milan, I'll get Naples.
Draw your sword.
With one strike, you'll never pay tribute to Naples again, and I...
the king, will love you.
Let's do it together,
and when I raise my sword, you will too,
to kill Gonzalo.
While you lie here snoring
Cold blooded conspirators
are taking this opportunity
If you want to live...
Wake up and beware!
Wake up, wake up!
- God save the king. - Why, what the fuck is happening?
Why are your swords drawn? Why are you so pale?
What's the matter?
While we stood here on guard,
just now, we heard a thundering sound like bulls, or more likely lions.
Didn't that wake you up? It was fucking loud.
I didn't hear anything.
It was loud enough to frighten a monster, or cause an earthquake!
Did you hear it, Gonzalo?
I swear, sir, I heard a humming that woke me up
As my eyes opened, I saw their weapons drawn.
We should be on guard, or go somewhere else.
Let's draw our weapons.
Let's get the fuck outta here, and keep searching for my poor son.
Lead the way.
I'll tell Prospera what I did.
So, king, go on and search for your son.
You're fucking drunk.
Don't tell me that.
When the wine bottle is empty, we'll drink water
So cheer up and drink up Monster-slave, drink a toast to me.
Monster-slave?! The worst thing on this island!
They say there only five people on this island
We are three of them.
If the other two are as stupid as we are, we're fucked.
Monster, say something, if you're a good monster
How are you, my lord?
Let me lick your shoe. I won't serve him. He's not worthy.
You lie. Very stupid monster!
You fucking drunk fish.
How can you tell such a terrible lie, being just a fish-monster?
See how he mocks me? Will you let him do that, my lord?
"Lord" he says! That monster is a fucking idiot.
Hey, he did it again! Bite him to death, please.
Trinculo, be polite.
If you cross me, you'll be hanged!
The poor monster's my servant, so stop talking shit about him.
Thank you, my noble lord.
Would you be willing to consider the request I asked of you?
Sure I will. Kneel and repeat it.
I will stand and listen, and so will Trinculo.
As I told you before,
I am enslaved to a tyrant, a sorceress,
that used her magic to steal the island from me.
You liar!
You are lying, you fucking circus monkey.
I'm not lying.
Trinculo, if you interrupt him again,
with this fist, I'll knock out your teeth.
Why? I didn't say shit.
Then shut the fuck up.
Continue.
I was saying, she used magic to steal this island.
She stole it from me.
If you will take revenge on her for that,
You'll be king of the island and I'll serve you.
What's the plan? Can you bring me to her?
Yes, yes, of course I can.
while she's sleeping,
when you can pound a nail into her head.
You lie. You can't do that.
This dude is a moron! You piece of shit!
I beg your highness
beat the shit out of him and take his wine bottle.
Why? What did I do? I didn't do anything.
I'm outta here.
- Didn't you just call him a liar? - You lie.
Oh, do I? Then, take this.
You want more, call me a liar again.
What? Why? I never called you a liar.
Are you out of your mind and deaf too?
Damn your wine and you can go to hell!
Go on with your story.
Please, step the fuck off.
Alright, go on.
As I was saying, she has a habit of napping in the afternoon.
Then you can bash in her skull. after you've taken her books.
Or use a log to bash in her skull.
or stab her with a stake, or cut her throat with a knife.
But don't forget, take her books first.
Because without them she's just a poor fool like me.
nor hath not one spirit to command.
They all hate her as much as I do.
Burn all her books.
And that most deeply to consider
is the beauty of her daughter, Miranda.
The only women I've seen are Miranda, Sycorax, and my mother,
but Miranda is so much hotter than Sycorax, they can't be compared.
Is she really that hot?
Yeah, dude.
She will look good in your bed, I think.
And give you fine children.
Monster, I will kill this witch.
And her daughter and I will be king and queen.
Trinculo and you will be our governors.
Do you like that idea, Trinculo?
Great, dude.
Give me your hand.
Oh. I'm sorry I hit you.
Within 30 minutes she'll be asleep. Will you kill her then?
Yes, I swear I will.
I will tell Prospera about this.
You make me happy. I am fucking ecstatic!
Come on, Trinculo, let's sing.
Mock 'em and despise 'em
despise 'em and mock 'em Thought is free
Beer 'em and beat 'em beat 'em and beer 'em
Thought is free
Catch 'em and stab 'em Stab 'em and catch 'em
Thought is free
Beat 'em and hang 'em Hang 'em and beat 'em
Thought is free
Skin 'em and kill 'em Kill 'em and skin 'em
Thought is free
What is this song?
If you're a man, show yourself!
Oh, forgive my sins!
God help us!
Are you scared?
No, monster, I'm not.
Don't be afraid. The island is full of noises.
Sounds and sweet music that are pleasant, not dangerous.
Sometimes I hear a thousand instruments in my ears,
and sometimes I hear voices that, even if I just woke up after a long sleep,
would put me back to sleep.
And then, I dream of clouds that would open up
and show riches ready to drop down on me so when I woke up...
I begged to dream again.
This will be a wonderful kingdom to rule, It comes with free Spotify.
Once you kill Prospera.
I swear...
I can't go any further, sir. I need to rest.
Old man, that checks out, I am also feeling tired.
Sit down and rest.
He must have drown, the one we are wandering to find,
It's pointless to continue searching on land.
It's time to let him go.
I'm very glad he's given up.
The next opportunity, shit's going down.
Let's do it tonight.
What is that music? Dudes, listen!
I need to Shazam this shit!
Angels protect us, heavens!
A live puppet show. Now I'll believe in unicorns!
If I told them about this back in Napes, would they believe me?
We're all hungry.
Do you want to try some?
I assure you, sir, there is nothing to fear.
I'll eat, even if it's my last meal.
It's cool, my best days are behind me.
The three of you are sinners,
It was fate that the sea barfed you up...
onto this uninhabited island,
you guys are the worst
So I've driven you crazy.
You idiots!
My fellow harpies and I carry out Fate's orders.
The metal your swords are made of,
would be more successful stabbing the wind, than to cut off even one of my feathers.
But remember...
This is what I'm here to tell you.
That you three from Milan overthrew Prospera,
with her innocent child,
and for that shit, which the gods have not forgotten,
have stirred up the seas and land,
and all the creatures against you.
Your son, Alonso, they have taken and ordered me to inflict on you
long- lasting suffering that is worse than any death.
Really killed it playing a harpy, Ariel
My magic spells are working,
and my enemies are confused as fuck.
They are now under my control.
For fuck's sake, sir, why are you so spaced out?
Oh, it's awful, awful.
I thought the clouds told me about it.
The winds sang it to me,
and the thunder, like a deep, dreadful organ-pipe
said Prospera's name.
It sang about my crimes.
And as a result my son is dead on the ocean floor,
and I'll search for him deeper than any anchor has sunk,
and will lie with him in the mud.
One demon at a time, I'll fight their horde.
Count me in!
All three of them are desperate.
Their guilt, like poison taking time to take effect,
now bites at their consciences.
I will follow them quickly, and stop them
from whatever their insanity might cause them to do.
If I have punished you too harshly,
your reward will make up for it,
since I have given you a third of my life,
everything I live for.
All the bullshit I put you through was to test your love for her
and you've passed the test remarkably.
Oh Ferdinand, don't laugh at me for praising her,
because you will discover that she is even more amazing
and words fail to describe her.
I believe it, without a doubt.
Then, as a gift from me and your well earned reward...
take my daughter.
But if you fuck her before the wedding,
the heavens will not bless your marriage.
Since I hope for peace, healthy children, and a long life,
That temptation will never overcome my honor with lust.
Well said.
Then sit and talk with her. She is yours.
Monster, that spirit, that you said was harmless,
Has done nothing but fuck with us.
Monster, I smell like horse piss, and my nose is not happy about it.
Mine too. Are you listening, monster?
Dude, trust me.
Ok, but we lost our wine in the swamp!
That is not only disgraceful and shameful monster, but a terrible loss.
I'm more pissed about that than getting wet.
But you say it was a harmless sprit, monster.
Come, Ariel!
My trusted servant!
What does my powerful master want?
- Here I am. - Go.
bring them all here I give you the power to do it.
Make sure they come quickly,
I must show this young couple...
the power of my magic.
I promised I would, and they're expecting it.
- Now? - Yes. fucking now.
Before you can say "come" and "go."
Do you love me, master?
No?
Dearly, my lovely Ariel.
[This crap is not in the Shakespeare script]
[Dude got game]
[She's totally into it]
Don't forget your promise. Wait until you're married to fuck.
Promises are straw to fiery passion.
I swear to you, madam,
the love in my heart restrains the lust in my dick.
Well.
No talking! Watch this! Be quiet.
I had forgotten about the evil plan of that monster, Caliban
and his accomplices, to kill me.
Leave! No more!
No more!
That's weird.
Your mother is really disturbed.
I've never seen her so angry and upset.
You look like something is bothering you.
Be happy, dude.
Our celebration is over.
These actors, as I told you, were all spirits
and have disappeared, into thin air.
And, like the fabricated nature of this vision,
the towers reaching the clouds, the gorgeous palaces,
the grand temples,
the world itself, and everyone living in it, will dissolve.
and, like this charade vanished,
will leave not even a wisp of cloud.
We are no more than dreams,
and our short lives start and end with sleep.
Sir, I... I am troubled.
If you want, you can go to my shack and hang out there.
I'm going to take a short walk to calm down.
We hope you feel better.
Ariel, I summon you.
Thank you, Ariel. Come now.
What do you want?
Spirit, we must prepare to confront Caliban.
Yes, my master.
Tell me again, where did you leave those assholes?
I told you, ma'am. They were drunk off their asses.
I left them in the scum covered pond behind your shack,
Up to their chins in that nasty water.
Good work, Ariel.
Go get my fancy-looking clothing, to use as bait, to catch these thieves.
I'm going. I'm going.
He's a devil, was born a devil,
kindness has no effect on him. Everything I did for him,
with good intentions, was fucking pointless!
I will put punish them! until they scream in pain!
Please, walk quietly, We are close to her home.
Please, shut the fuck up.
Look, it's the enrance to her shack.
Give me your hand. I'm ready to fuck some shit up.
Oh, King Stephano! Oh, worthy Stephano!
Look at these clothes hanging here for you!
Leave it, you idiot, it's shit!
Oh, no, monster! These aren't Goodwill clothes.
Oh, King Stephano!
Take it off! I'm telling you, it's mine.
It's yours, your highness.
I look fantastic, don't I? How could it be real?
Why are you so infatuated with these Goodwill clothes?
Leave it alone. Let's commit the murder first.
Shut up, monster.
Madame clothesline, Isn't this my jacket?
Yeah, take it. We aren't doing anything wrong.
Thank you for that joke. Take these clothes.
Jokes will not go unrewarded while I am king of this country.
Monster! help us carry these clothes.
I won't be a part of this.
We'll miss our opportunity and be turned into geese.
Monster, take these clothes or I'll banish you from my kingdom.
Get going. Take this.
- And this. - Yes, and these too.
Hey, Mountain, hey!
Silver!
Fury, Fury! There, Tyrant, there!
Listen! They're roaring!
Hunt them down!
Now all my enemies are at my mercy.
My plan is coming together.
Soon my work will be done,
and you'll be free.
Tell me, Ariel how are the king and his entourage?
Just like you wanted. They are all prisoners, ma'am.
The king, his brother and your brother, are all fucked up in the head.
But most fucked up is the one you call "The good old lord Gonzalo,"
tears run down his beard, like melted snow from a thatched roof.
Your magic fucked them up so much,
that if you saw them now,
you'd feel sorry for them.
Seriously, Ariel?
I would, master...
if I was human.
Then so do I.
If you, who are made of air, can feel sorry for them...
then why wouldn't I, as a fellow human,
be more affected than you are?
Even though I'm fucking pissed at them for what they did...
I'll be the better person here.
It's better to be good than vengeful.
Now that they feel sorry...
That's all I wanted.
Go release them, Ariel.
I'll break my spells,
and bring them back to their senses. They will be back to normal.
I'll go get them, ma'am.
All you elves living in the hills, streams, lakes, and forests,
and you elves who leave no footprints on the sand
and chase the ebbing tide, and run away when it comes back
You small creatures, that by moonlight make fairy rings in the grass.
which the sheep will not eat,
and you, whose hobby is to make mushrooms at night
and are excited when night comes.
with your help, even as weak as your are...
I have darkened the noon sun,
created blusterous winds,
and between the sea and the sky, caused a war.
To the dreaded sound of thunder, Iv'e added lightning.
and split the strongest oak with a bolt.
I've made the whole island shake
and ripped by their roots, the pine and cedar trees.
I've woken the dead, opened their graves,
and let them out, because of badass magic.
But now I give up this magic,
and after I've conjured some heavenly music, as I'm doing now,
To carry out my plan to fuck with those that this spell is for...
I'll break my staff...
bury it deep underground.
And deeper than any anchor has reached...
I'll sink my book into the sea.
Stay there. You are under my spell
Oh good Gonzalo, my true friend, and loyal to your king,
I will reward you with praises and actions.
So fucking cruel, Alonso, how you treated me and my daughter.
Your brother was in on that shit too.
You're fucked now, Sebastian.
My flesh and blood,
you, my brother, were so ambitious...
you forgot common decency,
who, with Sebastian, would have killed your king,
I forgive you, Even though you're a monster.
They are starting to regain conscienceless.
Ariel, get me my hat and sword from my hut.
I'll take off these magician's robes, and put on the clothes I wore in Milan.
Quickly, spirit! You'll soon be free.
Oh, I'll miss you Ariel,
but you will have your freedom.
I am the fucked over Duchess of Milan, Prospera.
I wish you a warm welcome.
If you are really her,
or another magic trick to make me suffer, I don't know.
You heart beats like you're real,
And as soon as I saw you I regained my sanity,
I felt like I was going fucking nuts.
There must be, if it's true, a very bizarre explanation.
I give up my dukedom and beg you to forgive me for my actions.
But how is Prospera alive, and here on this island?
First, dear friend,
let me hug you.
Your virtue has no limits.
I can't tell if this is real.
Welcome, my friends!
But you, gentlemen,
If I wanted to, I could make the king turn against you
and confirmed you are traitors.
But for now, I won't talk shit.
She's full of shit.
For you, most evil man,
calling you brother would make me barf...
I forgive your worst sins,
all of your sins...
and demand my dukedom, which I know, you must give me.
If you are Prospera, tell us how you survived.
How did you get here,
only three hours ago, we shipwrecked on this island.
where I lost my dear son Ferdinand.
I'm sorry to hear that, sir.
Because I've lost my daughter.
Daughter? When did you lose your daughter?
In the recent storm.
But, whatever the reason for losing your minds,
you can be sure, that I am Prospera.
Welcome, sir.
This room is my home.
Please, check it out.
Shmoopie, you're cheating.
No, shmoopie, I wouldn't cheat you.
To win 20 kingdoms, do what you have to do.
I'm cool with that.
If this is another island hallucination, I'm going to lose my son again.
The seas are threatening, but they let you live.
I was wrong to curse them.
Now all the blessings of a happy father surround you!
Stand up, and tell me how you got here.
Holy shit!
There are so many wonderful creatures here.
Mankind is so beautiful!
Oh, splendid new world, that has such people in it!
It's new to you.
Who is this chick you're hanging out with?
Is she the goddess that separated us, then brought us back together?
Sir, she is human.
But by god's blessing, she's mine.
I chose her to be my wife, without consulting you, because I thought you were dead.
Give me your hands.
Fuck yeah!
Did I do well?
Very well, my hard-working spirit.
Set Caliban and his friends free.
Undo the spell.
Look out for each other!
Be brave, sweet monster, be brave!
If I can believe my eyes,
this is an amazing sight.
Holy shit, these are beautiful spirits!
My master is so powerful!
I'm afraid she'll punish me.
What the fuck is this, my lord Antonio? Can they be purchased?
Of course. The one that looks like a fish, must be for sale.
These three robbed me, and conspired to kill me.
Two of these dudes you must know and take responsibility for.
The monster, I admit is mine.
She'll torture me to death.
Isn't that Stephano, my drunk butler?
And Trinculo is drunk off his ass. How did you get so smashed?
I've been so smashed since I last saw you, that I'm afraid I'll never sober up. Right?
How are you doing, Stephano!
Don't touch me. I'm not Stephano, just a walking bruise.
- And you wanted to be king of the island, plebe? - I would've been a shit king.
This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen.
I was such a dumb shit,
to believe this drunk was a god and to worship this fucktard!
Get the fuck outta here!
Go, and return those Goodwill clothes to where you found them.
Or stole it, rather.
Sir, I invite you and your entourage to my shit shack.
where you can sleep tonight,
and in the morning, I'll take you to your ship and we'll sail to Naples,
where I hope to see the wedding of our beloved children.
And then spend the rest of my life in Milan,
where I will contemplate...
my impending death.
My Ariel, baby,
Get us safely to Milan
Then you'll be free.
Where the bee drinks, so do I
In a cowslip flower's cup I lie
There I sleep when the owls hoot
I fly on a bat's back
Chasing summer around the globe.
Happily, happily, happily, I will live now.
Under the flowers that hang on the branch.